ONE MINUTE WISDOM
by Anthony de Mello
One of my sisters enjoys reading aloud a page from this text and then sharing her thinking about it with me. It is a way that we exercise our spirituality and feel more enlightened and connected. It's truly soulful work, as we contemplate our beliefs via de Mello's themes and lessons. In a similar way, I find myself searching for wisdom in books like THIS I BELIEVE, in poetry, in music.
Of course, as an instructional coach, I think, "How can I help teachers to find their own wisdom, promote harmony in their teaching lives, and to work wholeheartedly--to be "all in" as they work, moving in a common rhythm with me, their beliefs, and their colleagues?
Consider these lyrics from Lifehouse's "All In":
There's no taking back
what we've got's too strong,
we've had each other's back for too long...
And you know it's okay, I came to my senses
Letting go of my defenses
There's no way I'm giving up this time
Letting go of my defenses
There's no way I'm giving up this time
This is what wholehearted teaching and living is all about... Letting yourself be seen, vulnerabilities and all, knowing that there will be someone (your instructional coach, perhaps) who has had your back (even if you didn't realize it) and who is there for your journey of gaining teaching strategies and deepening your wisdom.
Consider this quote from ONE MINUTE WISDOM, p. 196:
DARING:
Said a disappointed visitor,
"Why has my stay here yielded
no fruit?"
"Could it be because you lacked
the courage to shake the tree?"
said the Master benignly.
Which brings me to one of the most difficult experiences I have had as an instructional coach. This has only happened a couple of times (thank goodness) but yet I feel haunted by the experience. Someone asks for coaching services but lacks the courage to "shake the tree," seems unable to let go of their defenses, and is not invested--not "all in"--and then wonders why the work was not as satisfying as it could have been.
When a coaching client is reluctant to "dare," or take a risk, the work suffers. As with any relationship, one person can not compensate for the absence of mutual sharing, caring, allotment of time, dedication, and work. Thankfully, this rarely happens; but, when it has, I emerge feeling scathed... frustrated, empty--barely "alive" (professionally).
And I am disappointed, too. I used to be more disappointed in myself, as I believed that somehow I should have been able to "shake the tree" for the client. Somehow, I believed that if I somehow just did a little more... somehow I could "fix" the motivation by trying to care enough for both of us. But now I know, to be of use as a coach, I have to lay down boundaries:
It is the teacher's role to make the work s/he is doing with the coach as real and authentic as possible.
A plethora of reasons exist for why a person might not be invested in or even resist coaching... perhaps s/he felt coerced into accepting coaching services; maybe the experience just exposed too many vulnerabilities for comfort; or it's possible that the client didn't understand the work that we needed to do; perhaps s/he is experiencing competing commitments... the list goes on and on. As a coach, I try to show up with respect and humility. I feel innately invested in the teacher's growth. I realize that most of the time, when a teacher doesn't seem invested, it isn't about me at all. So I keep trying.
A coach cannot go it alone. (This is why you don't see a coach on the sidelines with no team to play the game.) I know that the people I love best will help by finding (or providing) an inroad "To Be of Use", doing work that is real. Ultimately, the client must willingly harness the time and energy it takes to patiently propel our work forward. That is when coaching works, satisfies, and is clean and evident.
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half submerged balls.
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who stand in the line and haul in their places,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.
When a coaching client is reluctant to "dare," or take a risk, the work suffers. As with any relationship, one person can not compensate for the absence of mutual sharing, caring, allotment of time, dedication, and work. Thankfully, this rarely happens; but, when it has, I emerge feeling scathed... frustrated, empty--barely "alive" (professionally).
And I am disappointed, too. I used to be more disappointed in myself, as I believed that somehow I should have been able to "shake the tree" for the client. Somehow, I believed that if I somehow just did a little more... somehow I could "fix" the motivation by trying to care enough for both of us. But now I know, to be of use as a coach, I have to lay down boundaries:
- I can't do your work for you.
- I can't grow for you.
- You have to jump into the work head first, no dallying in the shadows, and do what has to be done--again and again.
- While a coach can support you and guide you, you are the responsible for your submersion in the task, making your work uncommon, satisfying, and evident.
It is the teacher's role to make the work s/he is doing with the coach as real and authentic as possible.
A plethora of reasons exist for why a person might not be invested in or even resist coaching... perhaps s/he felt coerced into accepting coaching services; maybe the experience just exposed too many vulnerabilities for comfort; or it's possible that the client didn't understand the work that we needed to do; perhaps s/he is experiencing competing commitments... the list goes on and on. As a coach, I try to show up with respect and humility. I feel innately invested in the teacher's growth. I realize that most of the time, when a teacher doesn't seem invested, it isn't about me at all. So I keep trying.
A coach cannot go it alone. (This is why you don't see a coach on the sidelines with no team to play the game.) I know that the people I love best will help by finding (or providing) an inroad "To Be of Use", doing work that is real. Ultimately, the client must willingly harness the time and energy it takes to patiently propel our work forward. That is when coaching works, satisfies, and is clean and evident.
To Be of Use
by Marge Piercy
The people I love the bestby Marge Piercy
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half submerged balls.
I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,I want to be with people who submerge
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who stand in the line and haul in their places,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.
The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.
In the minute or so that it takes to read this poem, I find wisdom in the room to breathe, to believe, and to remember the good things that have come of our work. I love jumping into work head first, and I know that there are many people who are willing to swim off with sure strokes, do what has to be done, and strive for work that is real.
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